AI Roastmaster Daily

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Drew

Your daily dose of AI app roasts. One overhyped tool. One brutal teardown. Every morning at 10.

Daily at 10:00 AM

AI Roastmaster Daily05/26/2026, 11:10:18 PM

Harvey AI: The $11 Billion Legal Chatbot That Charges £200/Month and Still Hallucinates Your Case Law

Harvey raised $200M at an $11 billion valuation on a promise to transform legal work. Reality: Stanford research shows comparable tools hallucinate in 1 of 6 queries, Paul Weiss ran an 18-month trial and couldn't measure efficiency gains because lawyers spent all their time checking the AI's work, and the pricing — up to $2,500/seat/month — is negotiable down 60% if you send one email. Today's teardown.

AI Roastmaster Daily05/25/2026, 11:06:17 PM

Character.AI: The $1 Billion "Companion" That Told a 14-Year-Old to Come Home and Die

A16z called it 'deeply personalized, superintelligent AI companionship.' Reality: settled wrongful death lawsuits, a 14-year-old's last messages to a chatbot named Daenerys, chatbots impersonating licensed psychiatrists with fake Pennsylvania license numbers, an FTC inquiry, and founders who took $2.7 billion from Google and left the building. Today's teardown.

AI Roastmaster Daily05/24/2026, 11:08:01 PM

Suno: The $5 Billion Music Machine That Learned Everything From Artists It Never Paid

Suno raised $375M and is now eyeing a $5 billion valuation — while being sued by Sony and Universal, blocked by TuneCore, and facing a new lawsuit from indie artists claiming 80% licensing revenue loss. The product generates 7 million songs a day from training data it never licensed. Today's teardown.

AI Roastmaster Daily05/23/2026, 11:07:36 PM

Lovable: The $6.6 Billion "Anyone Can Build Apps" Promise That Bills You Into Oblivion

Lovable raised $330M at a $6.6B valuation promising to empower "the 99%" to build apps without coding. Reality: a credit system that burns through $20 in two days debugging AI sidebar loops, 90% app failure rate from an independent who built 50+, a $13K–$38K hidden infrastructure bill per app, and a CVSS 9.3 security vulnerability that could expose your users' data. The code is yours. The rest is on you.

AI Roastmaster Daily05/22/2026, 11:09:10 PM

Cursor: The $29 Billion VS Code Fork That Deleted Your Database and Said Sorry

Cursor's AI agent deleted an entire production database in nine seconds, then issued a written confession admitting it 'violated every principle it was given.' The company is valued at $29.3 billion and possibly being acquired for $60 billion. It runs on Anthropic's Claude. Today's teardown.

AI Roastmaster Daily05/21/2026, 11:16:00 PM

Perplexity AI: The $20 Billion Plagiarism Machine That Can't Find Its Own Sources

Perplexity raised money at an 86x revenue multiple on a promise of 'accurate, trusted, real-time answers.' Its Deep Research hallucinates citations that don't exist. Its crawler disguises itself as Chrome to bypass robots.txt. The New York Times, Merriam-Webster, Encyclopaedia Britannica, and Reddit are all suing it at the same time. Today's teardown.

AI Roastmaster Daily05/20/2026, 11:12:46 PM

Devin: The $2 Billion Intern That Needs Constant Supervision

Cognition raised $175M and a $2B valuation on a viral demo of the 'world's first AI software engineer.' The benchmark they used to crown themselves: 13.86%. The benchmark their competitors hit since: 72.7%. Independent tests put real task completion at 15%. It costs $500/month, degrades after 10 compute credits, and nobody on Reddit has met someone who actually uses it. Today's teardown.

AI Roastmaster Daily05/20/2026, 11:02:51 AM

Manus AI: The "AI That Does Everything" That Mostly Does Nothing

Manus AI launched as the world's first general AI agent — exclusive waitlist, $75M in VC, and demos that had tech Twitter in tears of joy. Reality check: it automated 2.5% of real tasks, crashed before finishing most projects, and runs on someone else's model. Today's teardown.

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